


And There's This Burning

by purestilinski



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24450403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purestilinski/pseuds/purestilinski
Summary: On the night of the Full Moon Jam, Tori runs the gauntlet of love.
Relationships: Tori Vega/Jade West
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	And There's This Burning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [secretflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretflame/gifts).



> I would highly recommend listening to "Motorcycle Drive By" by Third Eye Blind while listening to this, as this was directly inspired by that song.

When did it first start?

This…feeling every time I’m around her. Like electricity is crackling through every fiber of my being. I’ve always admired her, since the moment she walked into class on my first day at Hollywood Arts and my whole body was struck by an eighteen wheeler when I took in her beauty. That was when the crush started – the butterflies, the nervousness.

But this…this sensation, like every muscle, every tendon, every bone in my body is burning in her presence; this started the night I tried to help Andre get over his own feelings for Jade. When I told him why he couldn’t fall for her, why it would be a terrible, god awful idea, I realized that I’d gone over the reasons dozens of times in my own head. Long after Andre had gone home that night, I was up shifting through every emotion in the book. It took hours of sitting in the dark, the faint sound of sad music filling my ears, to accept that I was in love with Jade West. It was wrong…twisted, even. She was, and still is, the woman of Beck’s – my friend’s – affections. And she hated me. I don’t think she still does, she seems to have softened up a bit, but somehow that makes it worse.

The less she hates me, the more time she spends around me. The more time she spends around me, the more my entire being feels like it’s bursting into flames.

I hate that I’m addicted to it.

“Vega! How do I look?”

I’m brought out of my thoughts to reality. We’re in the basement of her house, which serves as her room. It’s isolated, she once told me, and so it’s perfect for avoiding her mother. It’s also large enough to display her whole collection of skeletons, scissors, and things preserved in amber. Her room, bathed in dark purples and greens, very much encapsulates her personality. Oddly, although we seem so different from one another, I’ve felt at home every time I’ve been in the space most personal to her.

I look her over at where she’s standing in front of her full-length mirror, forcing myself not to stare too long at how…noticeable her breasts appear in the dark corset and blue spaghetti strap she’s wearing. My eyes travel lower. The black ruffle skirt she’s matching with is entirely too short and definitely there to grab attention, just like the rest of the outfit. Her jet black hair, streaked with purple, is curled at the ends, and her blue-green eyes are piercing against dark eyeshadow.

When I speak, my voice is as controlled as I can make it, even though I want nothing more than to take her in my arms, to kiss her, to show her how much I love her. “You look beautiful.” There’s a slight crack to it, but she doesn’t notice.

Instead, she smiles the most perfect smile I’ve ever seen. “You really think so?”

“I know so.”

She wraps me in her arms, pulling me close, and my heart slams against my ribcage. A soft laugh escapes her, the tendrils of her breath sinking into the pores of my skin. I can’t help the small shudder that courses through me as flames spread throughout my insides.

And I’ve never been so alive.

* * *

From the moment she steps forward from behind the curtains, I’m enthralled. I watch from a distance, my arms folded across my chest. I might look like I’m bored, but there’s no other place on earth I’d rather be than in the audience – her audience – watching as she effortlessly commands the stage.

_You think you know me_

_But you don’t know me_

_You think you own me_

_But you can’t control me_

_You look at me and there’s just one thing that you see_

_So listen to me_

_Listen to me_

Beck doesn’t know her. Not like I do. I’m confident of it. Otherwise, she wouldn’t keep coming to me, asking for my help. She confides in me. Not in him.

All too easily, I’m swallowed by the current that is her voice. She looks breathtaking as the stage lights shine for her and her alone, the rest of us trapped in the night’s darkness.

If someone was to describe us, I have no doubt they’d associate me with the sun and her with the moon.

But, with the way one look from her burns me up, I have a hard time believing she’s anything but the nuclear fusion reactor that lights up the world.

_But you’re not afraid of me_

_And I can’t convince you_

_You don’t know me_

_And the longer that you stay, the ice is melting_

_And the pain it feels okay, it feels okay_

For a moment, she looks straight at me, singling me out from everyone else in attendance. I’m frozen, rooted to my spot and unable to move as my eyes lock with hers.

She’s singing about me.

She has to be.

Nobody knows her like I do. I’ve always been there for her, and I will always _be_ there for her when she needs me. No matter how painful it is. Not even Beck can say that.

Unadulterated love pours into my gaze for the most special girl in the world…the only girl in the world to me. But the moment is shattered and her eyes slip away to something behind me as she continues belting out the powerful lyrics. Following her stare, my heart deflates. Beck is standing off by a punch bowl, looking at her just as fondly over the rim of his cup.

The song is for him.

Of course, it is.

When she finishes on a soft note, the instruments dying out in the background, the crowd claps fervently. Beck makes his way to the stage. A few words are exchanged, but I don’t even try to read their lips. All I can focus on is how intently she’s staring at him, like he’s everything to her.

They kiss. My heart cracks. Something inside of me breaks that I don’t know if I’ll ever get back. More applause rings out, except the audience is standing this time. Our friends all but sprint towards the stage and I suddenly can’t take it anymore.

I know I’m not needed, not when she’s just gotten her boyfriend back and her true friends are all surrounding her.

The red-hot burning starts up again, but this time I feel like I’m having a panic attack. I can’t breathe properly, so I whirl around. As more of the crowd tries to get closer to the stage, I numbly shove past my fellow students, working my way in the opposite direction. The parking lot is only on the other side of school grounds but, in that moment, it feels entirely too far away. Tears stain my cheeks as I pull myself into a tight hug.

I’ve never been so alone.

**Author's Note:**

> The song used in this fic is, of course, sung by Elizabeth Gillies. I take no credit for anything involving it.


End file.
